Apparently, flag-draped coffins are boring

EXERCISE: Imagine you are Dear Leader for a day. So you’re a borderline brain-dead zombie pretending to be President. You follow every command given to you by your Communist handlers. All you want to do is grope children and eat ice cream. You can’t be bothered to waste what rapidly diminishing time you have left …
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Dear Leader defeated again by rowdy teleprompter while laughing at dead Americans

So Dear Leader had to give a speech where he feigned concern over the lives of American military service members that were lost due to his glaring incompetence, malfeasance, and rapidly spiraling cognitive decline. Because he CANNOT think on his feet — it turns out you need a functioning brain for that, which is exceedingly …
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Joe Biden is a TRAITOR and needs to be punished IMMEDIATELY

Dear Leader just handed over a list of names and locations of people for the Taliban to kill. This makes him an ABSOLUTE TRAITOR and he should be punished according to the United States Constitution… and if I had any say, it would be punishment number 1 on the list – the death penalty. Here …
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finally, Jimmy Carter is no longer the Worst US President

Okay. I just broke out of solitary confinement, and since Dear Leader is bungling things up so badly he and his idiot guards are no longer watching the prisoners closely. I’ve managed to steal a propaganda terminal and wire it into the underside of my cell bunk so I can flip the mattress and make …
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